~ i do what i want when i feel like it ~

dh 24days in 2012. so far so good. i'm taking everything 1 step at a time. kalau org lain nk amik multiple steps, good for them. tp to me, i just need to be patient & enjoy every single step that i take. somehow i just don't understand (sometimes it irritates me... u know i can get annoyed easily) when people talk to me & ask "eh, you don't want to buy this ABC, kah?" OR "eh, you still wear that DEF, kah?" OR "you don't want to change XYZ, kah?"

first, i'm not d person yg tukar jam/kasut/beg/henfon/henfon cover/etc2 easily. friends who know me well know this fact. i would go "uuuu, cantek beg tu" but ended up NOT buying it. OR "wow, menarik wallet tu" and ended up walking away & lpstu dh x igt apa2 psl wallet tu. i got friends telling me "ermmm, wujud lg eh brg ko tu". kdg2 malu pn ada cz when people give me that kind of remark, it sorts of like telling me yg i ni x reti2 ke nk tkr brg. BUT, if i ni jns yg pndi jg brg tu & x rosak & i don't feel like buying a new one just to replace d one that i have, adakah itu slh?

then, there's d issue of PRIORITIZING between what i WANT and what i NEED. mungkin yg bertanya kt i soalan2 irritating tu x kena byr rm340 every month to PTPTN kot. jd, utk dia mungkin sng la nk "buy this and that" OR "change this and that". tp, i xleh ikut gaya org sebegitu. kn org tua2 ckp, "ukur baju di bdn sendiri"... mknanye, berblnja ikut kemampuan.

then, another issue is thp pemikiran yg berbeza antara i dgn org tu. some people are soooo down to earth yg i rs cm "ooo, bgsnye kau ni sgt merendah diri dan tidak menunjuk ko nk bermewah2". tp some others pulak, masyaallah... hmmm... i hope i'm not one of them, yakni jns yg cm ala2 nk tnjk sprti mahu compete dgn i OR nk tnjk thp kemampuan dia dkt i. if u guys can afford it, then go ahead... i wouldn't mind. yg thp cm ala2 nk compete dgn i OR nk tnjk thp kemampuan dia beli itu ini dkt i, org2 jns cmni yg buat i lemas ni. haihhhh!!! dgn erti kata lain, anda mahu tnjk kemampuan anda berbelanja/dpt itu ini, sila la "ditunjukkn" kt org lain. xyah nk compete dgn i krn kesian kt anda nt. x berbaloi pn nk tnjk kemampuan anda kt i, huhuhu.

as i said, i'm taking 1 step at a time. tapi, with the small steps that i take, at least i'm proud with myself for various small achievements. personal achievement that is. i have things that i can call mine (more things to come, insyaallah). i have some experience that i will never forget. i have good health & minda masih cergas 2learn new things from others so that i can achieve more. jdnye, small steps is good buat masa ni utk i. jgn la suruh i "lompat" jauh2 cz i want 2 do things on my own pace...

have fun. take care.